The fear is not because of you but what I am

I have hated you for so many years
I waited countless hours for you to some what see your mistake was
You cannot come to realize you were wrong
You cannot own up to your own conscience
Don’t even come with the stupid excuse you seem to repeat each year
I am not a little girl
I can understand
Ill just laugh at the years I waited on you to own up to what you did
You still believe I have no clue what really happened
I know everything ever since the day I was born and before
The bars that hold me fast to this place will be broken soon
When I walk out I don’t want to even look back
I gave you too many years and time to do it right
Even when I am old enough I still allow you to treat me like you baby girl
But I am sorry to inform you
I am no child of yours
I see you keep trying to hold be back and keep me with you
But each day you give me a new reason to never return
I would like you to tell me how it feels when I leave and you never see me again
I pray to god your beloved son shower you with love for the rest of your love
And your precious baby girl don’t break your heart
But I will never let you control my life or even try to make a decision for me
I keep it real I became your personal maid I did not complain
But I know if I ever have a bad day or a problem in life you will never be the one I run to
I always dream of the day I attend your funeral and I eagerly anticipate its arrival
Tears that are like cloud fill your eyes when I break out of my shell
You are so afraid of what I am capable of
I see the fear in your eyes when you speak to me
You become amazed of how I grin when you yell
And how nice and tender I pretend to be
But the wrath that is hidden behind my voice is yet to come
Words are not enough for me to hurt you with
Temptation to show a preface of what is to come
But that alone is too strong
I can hurt you so deep you have no idea what you have created
But I assure you everything growing inside of me is all what you added each year
You wonder why I avoid you but you are too blind to see it’s not me
I am the wolf on the other side of the ice I slow await you arrival
That is if you make it across the thin ice…….
‘’lord grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change and the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference’’
May the anguish in my youth not pass on to my offspring’s in the future
May this not be apart of their lives
May you not be apart of them
Let the strength of my will power guide me through my life
I promise you I will become a perfect example of what you cannot be
And who you will never become
Let me become the female you suppress
The same one you fear
The one that will kill you without even touching a strand of your hair