A love letter to my precious Angel

so small so special
so innocent
my angel

my baby i hurt you
baby i am so sorry
i wasn't thinking about you
i was being selfish

i only wanted out
i did it the easy way
now i am suffering
i am being tortured

baby i am so sorry
i am so very hurt
i am so very very sorry
i was stupid

baby i cry for you each day
its like i am fighting a battle i wont win
i didn't fight for you
i didn't try hard enough
i am sorry, i didn't believe in myself
i didn't think i would have been strong enough

i wish i can take it all back
i wish i can rewind time
i wish i could do it in slow motion
i miss you baby i do i really do

i wanted to meet you
i wanted to see your eyes
i wanted to listen to your Lil fluttering heart beat
baby i wanted to kiss your fingers
but i am so weak ...i submitted to defeat....

baby i want to hear your voice
i didn't make the right choice
baby you would have been the lesson i needed
now i wont learn what i needed
i wont ever find out what was going to be
baby why cant u come back to me?


i deserve all the misfortune in this world
i deserve to loose all i have
i deserve to be in pain
i deserve to be tortured
i deserve to loose your dads love

you needed me to be strong
you needed me to love you enough to keep you
you needed me to love you to fight for you
we would have been just fine
i was too afraid, i am sorry

oh i miss the beat of your tiny heart
i miss orange soda
i gave up an opportunity so grand
i gave up the chance to meet you
to kiss your tiny hands
look into your beautiful eyes
i bet they would have been chocolate like your dads

oh baby i am sorry
i would trade my happiness and comfort
to have one chance to meet you
i would trade my life for yours
i didn't want the pain
but living with this hurt and loss is far worst than before
i would trade it all my child i would

baby i love you
i am sorry i didn't love you enough
i am sorry .....
i don't know what your daddy thinks
i cant say how he feels
but baby even if you didn't have him you will have me
baby i loved you before i was even sure you were there
you made me all fuzzy ...was that your way of telling me?

baby you will always be my first
i will never let anyone take that away
i already allowed them to take you
i am so sorry i am such a bad person
i wanted to keep u so bad but i didn't think i was strong enough
i doubted myself, made myself weak
i feel so empty now...even worst when i am not sure your daddy is even with me
oh baby i love you ..


cant you ask god to come back
come back for a day
are u the one in my dreams?
is it you that i keep seeing?

i think i have one more thing to tell you
i am sorry...i know i was wrong to keep it all to myself
its eating away at me
i knew ...
i am sorry i knew and didn't say anything
i didn't want to face reality
i didn't want to know
but that day
i knew for sure you was apart of me
i didnt need a test to prove
our already formed bond was getting stronger
i couldn't hide it anymore
baby i cant blame what i did on anyone but myself
but how do i explain to the love of my life that i wanted to go against him
how was i going to explain the one thing he didn't want was here?
i now know that i would rather explain that than be missing you
i am worst than my own mother
i said i was better but i am not
but i had the choice and i choose myself over you
i am sorry my mind is like broken glass
my heart is like shattered mirror
i am bleeding to death in my mind
i am dying without you
you may not understand what i am feeling
but when i took your life i became a killer

Your daddy said you were a boy
I didnt choose but now i know you are my little Angel

Micheal
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