Forever After

white picket fences
big bright sunflowers
bright red roses
green lawn and big white house

poofy wedding dress
curly long tendrils
huge cake with lilies and orchids
little girls with baskets filled with rose petals

big chocolate brown eyes
tiny little fingers and toes
straight little pink nose
bright yellow sundress spinning around

baking for a dozen
picking up balls and cleats
driving back and forth everyday
feeding and walking them too

laughing and crying for silly things
stopping and breathing
appreciating and watching the grass grow
being there no matter the cost

if you are never there
i would not do these things
if you are not here
there are people that i wont ever get to meet

Todays world

people take the ones the care about for granted

we beleive that because they love us that they will never leave

but like most times they hurt us...break us and leave us

like always we never really learn from our mistakes

we go back and we love again and we hurt again
most people never get enough pain to make them stronger
so like the next 40% of females we become submissive to the males
but i am not gonna be broken
because i been hurt so much that i have learned
to get up brush off my pain
and hold my head up
i dont hate the people that hurt me
that will only give them power
for i belong to no one but god
i forgave everyone
and now i have freed myself from the hurt and the torture and the pain
i am a free woman
i am a virtious woman
i am free
i am love
i am what i should be and more
no female should be hurt
non should let another break her
for she is the mother of the earth
she nurtures life and help us to grow
she is to be saved
to be honored
for without here we have no world at all
a woman gave birth to jesus and gave birth to a savior

What i See...Only God knows

I noticed that you have changed
We don't talk the way we used to
The connection is fading
Ever since that day

I saw the look in your eyes
The shadow lurking
I know deep down within
But i refuse to believe it

The way you touch me
Its not the same
The way you kiss me
Its not the same

Its a game
But i don't want to play
Its all so wrong
But i just don't care

Its only so much i can bear
I am surprised i don't have any fear
Maybe its because the truth is near
I wont ever ask
That my love isn't my task

My love will forever last
But its up to you
To say the thing i want to hear
To defy you, oh my love i would never dear

It is true my love i really do care
And i know that you know
That this may go against me
But my love i am still here

I have faith in you
I trust that you have faith in yourself
I trust that you may do whats right
God knows why

He knows why he gives me strength
God knows why i have faith
God knows why i try
And god knows why i cry

God knows why we met
God knows which path is set
God knows why i don't fret
God knows why i would give you my last breath

He knows why i love you
He knows why i am here
He knows why i care
He knows that what i say is true

God knows why i am in your life
He knows why he let me loose my beloved
God knows why i feel so much pain
He knows who will be your wife

I haven't figured it out yet
But he takes my fears away
He wont let me fail
He wont let me be chosen by dismay

He comforts me
He sends his angels to wipe my tears away
He reminds me of my mistakes
Now i have Atonement

To him i owe a child
To him i owe my life
To him i owe my soul
To him i owe my heart

But here in my human life
I owe nothing
I wish for nothing
I have mortal dreams

I see what he wants me to see
I opened my eyes
Now don't be afraid
He will help you

He will give you strength
Tell him your fears
He will show you the way
Listen and you will hear him speak

i can use somebody

dont hold on too tight
things is this world
they never stay with us

why do we hold on to things
things that are not important?
why do we let the valuable ones go?

why dont we get a second chance?
why cant we change time
wht cant we go back and do it over?

the most beautiful things in life
always start out ugly
then grow into the most beautiful things in life

i feel broken...hopeless
i feel lost
who do i confide in?
who do i lean on when i cant find the strength?
i feel like i cant write anymore
i have no motivation
i no need
i just feel like such a bad person